Parents and Carers Guidelines to Combat Bullying
Guidelines for Parents and Carers
What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone deliberately hurts you, or makes you unhappy. It will
be repeated and be difficult to defend yourself against it. Bullying may be
racist, sexist or homophobic.
We know that bullying causes distress to large numbers of children and young
people. Many children and young people are denied their right to education
because they are being bullied. This could be because they are too frightened
to go to school at all, or because they find it difficult to concentrate on
their studies when they are in school.
We would like the family, the school, CEA@Islington, the council and the local
community to work together to address bullying so that everyone is safe to
have the education they deserve and are entitled to.
Parents and carers are often unaware that bullying is taking place - children
will choose not to tell the adults in their life that they are being bullied
because they do not want to upset them. Others do not do so because they
believe that their parent or carer could not do anything about it. Please keep
your eyes and ears open, especially if your child is behaving differently, or
seems upset.
If you discover that your child is being bullied or is involved in bullying,
you may feel powerless to do anything about it.
Every school is different and will decide on different ways to approach
bullying. They should do this in consultation with staff and pupils. They
should also ask parents for their views, so this is your opportunity to become
involved in making school a safer and happier place for your child.
Together we really can tackle bullying, but we need your help. Parents have a
great deal of influence over children's behaviour and self-esteem. Parents
live in the community and will often have a good idea about some of the
problems that cause bullying. Please support the anti-bullying efforts made by
your school and take a moment to think about some of the ideas in this leaflet.
If you have any more ideas that you would like to suggest or comments that you
wish to make, please contact us at:
Tel: 020-7527-5833
e-mail: ews.cea@islington.gov.uk
Education Welfare Service, CEA@Islington
Laycock Street, London N1 1TH
If your child is being bullied:
1. Listen carefully to your child and talk calmly through some possible ways
to deal with the problem. Make it clear that your child does not deserve this.
2. Don't delay; contact the school immediately. Talk to your child's teacher
about ways of resolving the problem and how both you and the school can
support your child. If the problem does not improve ask to see the
head-teacher.
3. Talk to your child about safe ways in which he or she can protect
themselves. Think about enlisting friends.
4. Don't suggest fighting back by using aggression or force. This generally
only makes the problem worse.
5. Keep a written record of everything that is happening (time, place, names,
any witnesses) and of the action you have taken. If your child is injured as a
result of bullying, keep a doctor's record or photograph the injury. If
belongings are damaged, a photograph is helpful.
6. If you wish to seek additional advice, support or information, contact the
individuals or organisations at the end of this leaflet.
7. If your child is being bullied outside of school, inform the school
immediately as well as, if you wish, the local Police.
8. Ask to see the school's anti-bullying policy.
9. If you feel this might help - talk to the school about a possible meeting
with the bully and his or her parents.
10. If all else fails, you may want to speak to a member of the school's
governing body.
If your child is involved in bullying.
1. Ask your child for his or her side of the story, asking why she/he is
bullying.
2. Make clear to your child that bullying behaviour is unacceptable. If your
child has suffered at the hands of someone else, note this carefully.
3. Contact the school immediately. Discuss with your child's teacher ways to
help your child to change his or her behaviour.
4. Don't bully the bully. This generally only makes the problem worse.
5. Help your child to find ways of feeling good about themselves and to learn
to sort out differences without using violence or aggression, or hurting
others.
6. If the situation is very serious you may want to get help for your child.
Ask the school to get in touch with the School's Educational Psychologist or
the Education Welfare Service. You may wish to speak to your GP
7. Set realistic and firm guidelines to help your child to control and change
his/her behaviour. Address what might be causing your child to be angry or
distressed at home or with friends.
8. Use the list at the end of this leaflet to find out where you can get
additional help, advice or support.
9. Ensure your child apologises to the child she/he has bullied, either in
writing or in person. Talk about how that child might be feeling as a result
of the bullying.
10. Help your child to identify something at which he/she can succeed and
which will help them feel good about themselves.
List of useful
names and addresses.